It is an understatement to say “that forgiveness can be difficult” but it can be because certain kinds of pain or grief linger in the human heart and create a form of “forgiveness reflux,” as the anger or grief just keeps “repeating” on you. We also live in a culture where many will often say that “they forgive, but they will not forget” or that “revenge is a dish best served cold,” which because of insults, perceived and real offenses, tensions, and diverse opinions, i.e., the right of everyone to hear and accept my opinion, makes pardoning and reconciliation sometimes impossible to obtain.

This weekend our first reading from the Book of Sirach focuses on the Our Father as he reflects on how hard it is for “mere mortals to forgive others even as they ask the Lord to forgive them.” Sirach goes on to say we are “inclined to hug tight or cherish wrath and anger.” Don’t we all know people who seem to love to hold onto a grudge? The grudge takes on a life of its own. There is an old saying that states: “Anger becomes an acid that eats at the container that holds it.” The human heart holding onto anger or a grudge is bound to be ‘eaten alive’.

In the second reading this weekend, St. Paul tells the Romans that the division within his Christian community stems from “the problem of Christians judging other Christians” as perhaps they seek to see themselves as better than other Christians. St. Paul notes the essential Truth that unites them: “That Christ died and came back to life so that each of them could live and die in Him.” That antidote to the division within the Christian community is a form of “Catholic Action,” meaning to build and live, as St. Thomas Aquinas would note, a habitus which enables all to develop dispositions so as to “live with Christ in whatever situation they find themselves.” That we are live faith in all aspects of life, following the Truth of Christ in the actions and words of daily life.

The Gospel of Matthew (18: 21-35) reflects on the parable of pardon without limits. “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times? Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” To forgive seventy-seven times Jesus calls for the need to pardon without limitations and of the need of knowing how to accept our brothers and sisters and to help them to reconcile with the community. Peter asked if forgiving up to seven times is sufficient. Scholars note that the number seven indicates perfection. “In this case, it was synonymous with always.” Jesus goes far beyond Peter’s proposal by eliminating any possibility of limitation to pardon: “Not seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!” In essence then, ‘seventy seven times seven always!’

What does this mean for you and me as we claim to offer forgiveness to our spouses, children, parents, bosses or people in the streets? In the Our Father we recall the understanding of Sirach, that there is no percentage differential between the pardon which we receive from God and the pardon which we should offer to others.

Again, scripture scholars direct us to understand that the expression “seventy-seven times was a clear reference to the words of Lamech who said, ‘I killed a man for wounding me, a boy for striking me. Seven-fold vengeance for Cain but seventy-seven fold for Lamech’ (Gen 4:23-24). Jesus wants to invert the spiral of violence which entered the world because of the disobedience of Adam and Eve, because of the killing of Abel by Cain and for the vengeance of Lamech. When uncontrolled violence invades life, everything goes wrong and life disintegrates.” Just look at our world today for evidence of this ancient truth.

So what about us in the modern world—how is our ancient faith applicable in our own lives? Peter’s question, “Lord, how often must I forgive?” illustrates the frustration and the weariness of forgiving the “repeat offender”—the one who does not seem to either “learn his lesson” or allow forgiveness to soften his heart and ways. How can I keep forgiving that serial offender?!?

On Judgement Day each one of us will stand before the Lord and receive recompense for what we did in the body, either good or evil, so scripture states. Sometimes I believe the “good or evil” to which that statement addresses is considered by most to be those “proactive” acts or words—the things that Sirach noted we “hug or cling to”, as well as the deeds St. Paul says that we choose to do even though we know we shouldn’t or the things we know we should do yet choose not to do…but the faith of Jesus truly calls us to a totality of Christian life, that on Judgement Day a review of our lives, what we did or didn’t do: the forgiveness offered and the forgiveness withheld, the anger let go, and the anger held on to.

As we accept Our Father (‘s) forgiveness and pardon—and welcome it’s healing power—we must then do all we can to know it—and offer it—so as to heal and transform others, those who have offended us. In prayer we must ask God to give us the grace to seek and accept His forgiving and healing love, we must in prayer seek the courage to own His love so as to sooth the anger within us, and in prayer we must also ask for the power to share that same healing love now received with others in need. Once we have dialogued with God in prayer, we must then act in our Christian life. For while revenge may be a dish best served cold for the one without faith, pardon and forgiveness are always served hot and soothing, plentiful and seasoned with hope—offering a future together in Christ. Pardon Me! And may it be a "full, free, and absolute pardon".