This is one of those topics that needs no research to back it up, as it just takes common sense. There is an old adage that states, “Do as I say, not as I do.” And that sums up why so many of our Catholic brothers and sisters don’t attend Church, practice their faith, or even know the rudiments of the Catholic teachings. And what is the end result of that? Ignorance of faith, and ignorance of God and His Love.

Yes, there is plenty of research on this topic: from PEW Research Center to CARA, the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (a Catholic version of PEW). There is even research to illustrate who best passes on the faith, mothers or fathers, and while both do to some degree, it is by far a father who practices his faith and talks about Christ to his children that has the highest influence on a child’s belief system and their subsequent practice of the faith.

But when parents tell their children that baseball, soccer or hockey is a higher priority than God, then children—naturally—follow the puck, the bases or the seek the goal.

There is also great research out there, Catholic and secular alike, that illustrates a corresponding relationship to the increased instances of anxiety and depression in our children when they do not know of God’s love for them, His mercy and His desire for them to “Be all they can be,” in the good and most excellent way. The world (schools, society and even families) encourages children ages 14, 15, 16 and 17 that they have to be “college students” in high school with too many AP courses, too many sports, and too much pressure to be all things to all people in order to succeed in the world today. Sure, this may sound like a rant, but as I go out and speak with teens in our Catholic schools or in our parish youth ministry programs (my job as vicar for Catholic education and formation requires this) I hear and see the pressure we are putting on our children while at the same time causing so many not go to Mass, not to receive God’s Grace in the Sacraments, and not to hear that they were made in His Image and Likeness—and that that is good enough.

Recently a mom told me why “they didn’t have the time to go Mass”- they felt it is better to spend “family time” at sporting events together??? What about family time with your Father? Family time together hearing His Word, and family time together receiving Him in the Sacrament?

Mark Twain said, “Common sense is very uncommon.” So while the research is very important, sometimes what is simply before our very eyes is the most powerful evidence of all: Children need to know they are made in God’s image and likeness; that the color of their skin, their family’s zip code, their ethnic heritage and where they go to college is not as important as knowing that they are beloved children of God; they are His chosen ones and that the God of all creation desires nothing more than for His children to know Him and to love Him. In the end, it will not be one more contract signed or one more court case or one more soccer game won that will matter on the Last Day, rather what will matter is how well we knew, loved and lived like God in this world so that we will be victorious in the world to come.

There is a great commercial on TV right now that asks the question, “When you die will you go to heaven or not?” Again I say, “How well we know, love and live like God” is really all that matters. Just something to ponder as we ask the all-important question: What is the best thing I can do to help my child? Is it to be the best, brightest, and most athletic volunteer in the world or to be a good Christian disciple., aligning my heart to Gods?